Saturday, January 19, 2008

Uh, not sure what to say??

My mom got in LATE last night. She missed her original flight (long story). Tyler is happily playing with her now, and in a little while we'll be leaving to head south to visit my grandparents for the day.

Warning, triggers (may be sensitive material): Anyway, one year ago today I got a positive pregnancy test. I was elated, absolutely elated, as I had been charting and all that jazz for almost a year in an attempt to get pregnant (of course we weren't "trying" for a full year because you'd need your partner to be in the same country for that to happen....but that's a whole different vent). So, anyway, on January 19th I woke up to a dream that I was pregnant, and against my better judgement, I took a test. Positive! Well, the pregnancy had problems almost from the beginning, which I tried to overlook and be optimistic, but 1 month and 1 day later I got the news that there was no longer a heartbeat (I had seen his/her little heart beating just 6 days before that). So, at 9w1d I learned I miscarried. Anyway, I'll spare you the brutal details because I'd prefer to not focus on that, but almost a full month later I had to go in for a D&C. Here I am, one year later, still trying. I had hoped not to reach this milestone. I was devastated on September 24th, my due date, but I honestly didn't think I'd ever get to the one year anniversary of my positive test. So, in a nutshell, I think this is a big contributor to my "funk" I described a few days ago. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Hopefully I haven't upset anyone.

5 comments:

Holly said...

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
I hope you're feeling better real soon!

Melodie said...

I understand how you feel, wanting a baby and having it not happen quickly. I'm sure that babysitting your neighbor's liitle one only makes the longing more intense. I truly believe that the smell of a baby triggers some sort of hormonal thing in a woman.
I hope things work out for you sonner rather than later.

Karlise said...

I'm so sorry Heather. Hugs to you!!

Karen said...

It took me a lot longer to have Joshua than I expected. I got pregnant with Shawn within two months of trying but Joshua was a different story. Of course everyone in the playgroup was getting pregnant at the time so I was definitely feeling a little anxious. Especially after I heard Wendy was pregnant (she said she had a difficult time getting pregnant with Tyler). Thank goodness I was already pregnant when I heard Andrea was pregnant (she had a difficult time also) LOL. Anyway, hang in there. I'm very sorry you have to go through this.

Scarlett said...

Hopefully great big beautiful +++++++++++++++ signs will be coming your way soon! Hugs!