No soliciting

Is there something about those words that are confusing? Apparently so, based on the countless people that have bothered me since I moved here about 2 years ago. It was unbearable when we first moved in, having people come knocking on our doors MANY times a day, and one of our neighbors even went so far as to contact the HOA. They were told that, although there were "no soliciting" signs at the entrance to each little sub-development, they really did nothing to enforce it. Lovely. However, we were assured that this was likely a bi-product of the fact that it was newer development and companies were taking advantage of the fact that we might be in the market for new blinds, a pest control service, etc. I ask you WHY they would think that I would need blinds as they knocked at my door next to my newly-blinded window, but whatever. I don't judge their intelligence (at least not openly).

Things had slowed down for a while, or maybe I just stopped noticing. However, recently things have been picking up again and I am NOT pleased. Maybe it's just me being the pregnant hormonal thing that I am, but I do NOT want my son woken up from his nap so I can be questioned on the quality of my drinking water. Truth be told, I don't want to be woken up from MY Nap to be questioned on the quality of my drinking water either!

I've been contemplating getting a "no soliciting" sign to go directly outside my door, but I question if it makes my home look unappealing. I have no problem with neighbors and stuff knocking on my door, so I don't want to seem like an unfriendly person. I battle this in my head and, as of now, the need for sleep may win out. So, if you happen to come on over to my house, this does not mean that YOU can't knock.

Do they happen to sell signs with specifications? Maybe one that goes something like this:

If you are a cute girl scout selling Tagalongs, please go ahead and knock.
If you are a neighbor in need of borrowing an egg, I'll gladly help you out.
If I left my garage door open, thank you for making me aware.
If you are a young child who lost your mom, I assure you that I care.

I don't want to change religions, I haven't "lost my way".
I don't need new blinds or windows, definitely not today.
I have no need for a new vacuum, or to have my carpets washed.
I've already hired an exterminator to have all my bugs squashed.

I assure you that I'm friendly, but I will not buy your stuff.
I may not look mean, but I'm pregnant, hormonal, and tough!
So if you wake me from my sleep, I assure you I'll be mad
Don't make me have to shoot you, 'cause that would make me sad.

Have a great day!