well, that was not fun

Today I decided to be brave and head to the outlets with both boys. I really was going only with 2 main purposes...to get matching Christmas PJs for the boys and to get some nursing tanks (and maybe some bras) for me.

I got Tyler from school and he got himself some lunch while I fed and changed Jason before getting on the road.

The afternoon went like this:

Get in car and stop for $1.89 gas. Cool, huh? Spend the whole time trying to talk to Tyler through the closed car door. Apparently this is fun.

Get back in car and realize Jason is asleep. Nice! Try to have a relaxing drive listening to my music. Went fairly well, well, minus the 67 questions I had to answer. Eventually let Tyler listen to his music (you really can never have too much exposure to Backyardigan's music) so I can get some relief from the never ending questions. Phone rings, remind Tyler quickly not to interrupt, and have a brief conversation with my mom. Get off, noting how quiet it was. Announce "Tyler, thank you for being very patient and quiet while I was on the phone". No response. Look in mirror and see a sleeping Tyler (he's really not ready to give up his nap). Happily turn my music back on. Hear a shriek from the back seat from Tyler announcing "I was listening to that". Reply, "sorry bud, I thought you were asleep". He replies "I was asleep, but I like to hear that while I'm sleeping". Umm, okay.

Arrive at incredibly crowded outlet (hello people, it's not even thanksgiving and don't any of you have to work?). Wake Tyler and listen to him whine about how his carseat is "not comfy for napping". Go to take out stroller and realize it is not there. Call Al who announces "oh, I took it out when I took out your suitcases". Remind Al to NEVER take out the stroller unless I ask him to. Ponder how I'm going to tackle the outlets without a stroller. Thankfully don my front pack and place Jason inside and cross my fingers that he falls back to sleep.

Watch passerbys smile that smile that says "oh, look at that poor, crazy mom".

First visit is at The Children's Place, which I presumed would have the matching PJs we were looking for. They did in fact have 2 patterns which could have worked, however Jason would need a blanket sleeper and Tyler's size only allowed the 2-piece PJs. Tyler announced he didn't like them and he wanted a blanket sleeper. Plus, they weren't on sale (I'm a sucker for a sale and find it hard to pay full price). I tried to peruse the racks but kept getting stuck. It's not easy to get through a crowded store with a front back AND back pack on. Listen to Tyler whine that he "need"s sunglasses. He has 2-3 pairs, one of which is in the car. Threaten to not allow him on the playground when we're done if he keeps whining. Leave there without anything.

Second stop is Gymboree, which is short, because I had just temporarily forgotten that I'm not rich.

Third stop, Carter's. Find tons of cute stuff, but unfortunately nothing matching or even coordinating. Either they were out of Jason or Tyler's size. I was informed that they had already flown off the racks. I was not aware I had to buy Christmas PJs in June. I'll have to remember that next year. Did get Jason a onsie that says "All Mommy Wants for Christmas is a Silent Night". Wishful thinking. Also got Tyler a blanket sleeper, just in case we never find any Christmas blanket sleepers again.

Fourth stop, Motherhood Maternity. Argue with Tyler over whether you are allowed to keep tags you find on the ground. Am quickly set straight by the employee who told him he could in fact have the sale signs on the ground. At least that made him happy. Attempt to make sense of the busy store. Finally ask where the rest of the nursing gear is. Realize that they are out of almost everything except black nursing tanks, which is in fact the only color nursing tank I already own. How convenient. Leave there without anything.

Listen to Tyler whine that he's too tired to walk. Remind him that "if you are too tired to walk, you are probably too tired to go to the playground". Remind myself how lucky I am that Jason is sleeping. Question how people have more than 2 children.

Fifth stop, OshKosh B'Gosh. Listen to Tyler whine that he's "sooo hungry" before finally announcing "fine, if I can't eat now, I'll never eat again". Ignore him. FINALLY find matching PJs. They aren't Christmas per say, but they are wintery and are Tyler-approved. I'd prefer that they aren't our Christmas eve PJs, but at least they are something.

Sixth stop, playground. Jason wakes, which is actually good timing. Watch Tyler playing (and eating a snack) while attempting to feed the baby. Take note that it is nearly impossible to nurse discreetely on an incredibly windy day with a satin blanket. Not a good match.

Put Jason back in front pack, put on backpack again, regather my bags, and coerce Tyler off of playgear.

Last stop, Bath & Body Works. Listen to Tyler whine that he "need"s a stuffed sheep. Ponder why Bath & Body Works would carry stuffed sheep. Decide it's merely to annoy parents of children who whine for stuffed sheep. Attempt to distract Tyler with allowing him to help me pick the scent of the third and final soap purchase. When that doesn't work, warn him that he will be sitting in time out of he doesnt' stop acting rude. Finally count to three, listen to Tyler scream at the top of his lungs, and put him in time out in the middle of the line to purchase my soap. Listen to him scream while the customer in front of me tells me that "I've been there. I have 3 boys". Ponder when she eventually regained her sanity.

Listen to Tyler scream "I want to shop more" as I drag him to the car.

Strap him in, strap in Jason, and get in car myself. Pat myself on back for not killing Tyler mid-trip, nor even raising my voice. Attempt to regain circulation in my back and wonder why I don't travel with Tylenol. Vow to never take both boys to the outlets again until Jason is at least in first grade.