Well, it's been 2 weeks of "sleep training" and Jason still screams his little head off at bedtime. He still doesn't nap in his crib, and he still wakes up about a gabillion times overnight. I hear of these little babies with mom's complaining that they are up 2-3 times a night. I still have a newborn, up AT LEAST every 2 hours until I eventually bring him to bed with me while he nurses the rest of the night as he pleases.
I am happy to report that there have been some minimal gains. He has napped at least once a day all week, whether it be in a stroller or in bed with me or in a car. He has not cried over an hour at bedtime (I'm pretending that this is "progress", but I would be MUCH happier if he'd just roll over and go to sleep). 75% of the time, when he first wakes at night (usually 2 hours after he's gone to bed) I can nurse him and put him immediately back in his crib, where he'll proceed to cry for maybe a minute and go right back to bed. Maybe 50% of the time this happens at his next night waking (again, usually about 2 hours ater the last waking). Then he ends up in my bed if I don't want to hear him cry for hours.
So, the book I read suggests that I now (2 weeks after bedtime "training" began)should let him cry overnight if he wakes. The pediatrician flat out told me I need to practice "tough love". They are all telling me he doesn't need to get up to nurse in the middle of the night anymore. To be honest I'd be thrilled if I could get him to get up every 3 hours and nurse and go right back in his crib. I wouldn't even mess with that. But the occasional hourly wakings, and the all night nursing sessions in my bed are just not working. My back is killing me and I haven't slept any solid sleep after 2:00am in almost 10 months (once he comes into bed with me I don't sleep well at all anymore). Not to mention that I can't even leave the house for a trip to Walmart and be confident that he'll sleep a decent chunk of time.
So, do I go by the book and force him to go all night without a feeding? Do I adapt it and force him to cry a predetermined amount of time before I go into him? Do I go to him if it's been a decent chunk between feedings (say 3-4 hours?)?
All I want is some magical force to tell me the right thing to do. Where is my freakin' manual? I'd gladly pay a hefty price for one!
Fall Semester 2018
2 years ago
5 comments:
Heather...when you're desperate, you'll make a decision, LOL. Sorry. Shawn was a good sleeper but then he started waking up in the middle of the night. Then it became several times a night until eventually he was waking up about once an hour. When it got to that point, Don and I were so desperate for sleep, we let him cry. It was the hardest thing I ever did but it worked. It took about 3-4 days but the key is not to give in. You can't let him cry for an hour and then go check on him. That makes him think that if he cries long enough, then mom will eventually come get me. I know it's tough not knowing what's best. Go with your gut. He's obviously not starving so I don't think that's the issue. It seems as if he's using nursing as a way to self sooth but he really needs to learn to do that on his own. Good luck and I hope you didn't take this as judgment because I wasn't trying to judge...just giving you my experience and thoughts on the matter. I hope you get it resolved soon and can get some sleep.
I agree with Karen on this one. I think you need to follow doctor's orders and let him cry it out, all night if you have to. Good luck!
I know it is sooooooooo hard, but I would have him CIO and don't go in there at all. It's VERY hard. When we went through this, I cried just as much b/c I felt so bad for not going to them, BUT, I was promised it would work and I was desperate. After 3-4 solid nights of not going in there, it worked. Good luck!
wow- i don't check your blog very often but boy that's a lot of waking up- It took corinne a while to sleep through the night but she always slept in her crib- i get from some of your other messages that he isn't eh best eater but manybe trying ot feed him some cereal- or bulkier food will help him stay satisfied longer- he look plenty heatlhy to me - i love chubby baby... crying won't hurt him - just keep reminding yourself that...
Justice still sleeps in our bed...and he nursed till almost 2! We're definitely "attachment parents"--and we just gave up on trying to get him to sleep in his own bed. Seems like we all sleep better when he's in ours. I figure he'll get to his own bed eventually....
Sounds like you're doing an amazing job at being a "mommy"--hang in there, remember, these difficult stages last only a season!
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